


bust, burst, beat my heart

by Hanta_Sero



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Emotional Manipulation, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt No Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Stream of Consciousness, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26559409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanta_Sero/pseuds/Hanta_Sero
Summary: It's been two and a half days since Yamaguchi's confession, and already three-quarters of his desk has been marred and inked beyond his recognition.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 39





	bust, burst, beat my heart

**Author's Note:**

> !!! TRIGGER WARNING HARD F SLURS IN HERE !!!  
> uh yeah idk i shat this out at 2 am bc sad gay thought go brrr haha
> 
> idk this is my first haikyuu work pls be nice im bark bark growl gay noises

It's been two and a half days since Tadashi's confession, and already three-quarters of his desk has been marred and inked beyond his recognition.  
He thinks he should start bringing an extra table board to school; the spine of wood curling from the carving scars scratches annoyingly against his hand and his school papers.  
Homo, his desk taunts. FAG! FAGGOT!  
Tadashi sighs and shifts his papers to cover the offending slurs. At first, they had been enough to reduce him to tears.Then Kei had told him to suck up, Tadashi had made the choice himself, it wasn't like it was Kei's fault it got all out, and Tadashi had stopped.  
Maybe it wasn't Kei's fault, but couldn't he be a little more sympathetic about his situation?  
The whole school seemed to find fun in carving homophobic slurs into Tadashi's few meager belongings.  
He'd even found FAG BASTARD sharpied into his gym uniform, and he had no idea how they even managed to get into his locker, much less why they would go through such lengths to  
torture him so.  
He didn't mean for this to happen.  
He thought he took enough preventative measures, telling Kei to meet him at the back of  
the gym during lunch, scouting beforehand to make sure no one was around, confessing his attraction in the quietest way possible.  
He thought it was enough.  
But it still somehow got out.  
And Kei, apathetic as ever, simply rode along the wave. Tadashi had asked him if he had seen anyone around, if he could remember anything that could have possibly led him into this  
situation.  
Yes, Kei scoffed, by telling me. If you never did, this wouldn't have happened.  
Be serious, Tsukki!  
I am.  
But Tadashi still had never gotten his answer.  
The I like you, do you like me back? curtesory part of any confession had been unanswered, discarded and distastefully flung to the side. Kei had blinked, given him a look, and then asked him if he had read the newest chapter of the comic book series they were both following.  
And Tadashi had taken it, swallowed his disappointment, and tried to move on.  
Yes, there were tears, but honestly, what did you expect? he asked himself. Tsukki's not the type for feelings.  
He's not sure when he became conscious of the stares, but it was probably at the end of the day after he confessed. He was a pariah, people parting around him like the Red Sea, Kei nowhere to be seen.  
And it was the day after that when he'd got his first Homo scrawled onto the scuffed wood of his desk.  
He wonders if he would choose to do something differently in the past. He wonders if Kei would be happier if Tadashi hadn't confessed.  
Maybe then Kei wouldn't have had to tell everyone.  
He's right, it's my fault, isn't it? Tadashi thinks.

**Author's Note:**

> uh... chile, anyways ✨✨ kinda wanted to slap an ole unreliable narrator tag in there bc i feel like it wasn't clear enough?? also yeah💖 shit was supposed to be lowkey vague n confusing bc ummmm idk head go brr i guess haa


End file.
